If you’ve ever been topping and you’ve suddenly drawn a blank mid-scene The New Topping Book by authors Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy is an invaluable resource to help see you through any lapses in creativity. This mighty manual goes over all the different angles and aspects of BDSM you can possibly imagine and then some. So if you’ve ever become emotional during or after a scene and you’ve thought maybe you’re just not cut out to be a powerful Dominant then don’t fret because this book reassures you that you are not alone. It’s something that goes through almost every Top’s mind at some point.
The New Topping Book
I purchased this book through Amazon for my Kindle which makes it easy for me to bookmark and highlight my favourite parts to go over time and time again. Because I have a kindle app on my phone and my tablet I can call up memorable passages when I need them. What I loved most about this book is that it goes through every aspect of of a scene from finding your role, through negotiation, aftercare and even the rarely discussed subject of Top drop.
For the novice Top, there is a lot to learn. Start by giving yourself permission to be ignorant. It is not a crime not to know something.
Right from the beginning The New Topping Book pulls no punches; the valuable information inside is explicit enough to pique your inner desires yet accessible enough for an educated novice. I found it to be very insightful and well written with natural transitioning through the BDSM lifestyle. I also very much enjoyed the regular interludes of personal short stories from past play sessions which applied to the information being presented to the reader.
Asking you to top without as much information as you can get is like asking a contractor to build a house without seeing the blueprint.
The New Topping Book gets things going right off the bat with helpful advice on finding your Top persona, how to enter into an effective and thorough negotiation and how to be an ethical top. You’ll learn how to extract ideas from your prospective bottom so you can avoid lines like, “I only want to please you, Mistress.” or “I want what you want” By reading this book you’ll find your confidence building even if you think you have none. From there it moves on to how to find top notch fetish gear and toys at an affordable price. The New Topping Book stresses the importance of getting quality items which will not only keep you and your bottom safe during play but will also stand the test of time.
“If you want me to hit you harder you better get that ass up there where I can get at it!” And she did, and it was great.
Once the scene is over, The New Topping Book will walk you through how to wrap things up with proficient aftercare. On top of that there’s a section on post care etiquette such as calling the bottom within a couple of days following a scene to make sure everything’s ok with them. The bottom will respect you and feel that they are well cared for. It will also help to combat any guilty feelings you may have about taking your bottom to their limits and possibly beyond. The authors advise that this is the time to put aside any inkling of an ego and listen. You may love any praise offered but you must also learn to appreciate any constructive criticism they may have. This in turn will help you evolve into a better and more informed Top.
It’s not often talked about but Top drop can and will happen to the best of us at some point in our BDSM lives. You may not even realise that the low feelings or slight depression you’re experiencing could be attributed to that amazing play session you dominated just days earlier. Just as you’re playing with body chemistry and emotions during a play session, your mind and body are still fluctuating through the remnants of these waves.
You may suddenly find you intensely miss your bottom. You can’t seem to concentrate at work. You’re more emotionally sensitive than usual. You may find yourself to be irritable. You feel sad and the only thing that can cheer you up is talking to your bottom (not that bottom dear). Most Dominants will shrug it off but to some it may be quite an alarming experience. The New Topping book explains why we feel this way and effective advice on how to combat it. Top drop is normal. Just like sub drop, it’s a very real fact of life when it comes to BDSM.
Would I recommend this book? Definitely. I would recommend it to anyone thinking about furthering their interest in BDSM no matter your role whether you’re a Top or bottom. Education is very important and it’s a wonderful feeling to know even the professionals need time to take a step back for a deep breath. I would vehemently recommend it for Tops who want to improve their skills, for couples where one partner has been asked to be dominant and I would also recommend it to a submissive who would like to serve a Top better. I haven’t read it yet but I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that it’s counterpart The New Bottoming Book is just as valuable as The New Topping Book.
The version I read was the updated second revised edition (1 Mar 2002) published by Greenery Press which includes a wealth of fresh information for more contemporary scenes.
Both are available on Amazon and you can purchase both either in paperback or for your Kindle reader/client by clicking on any of the links above. Every time you buy through my links I earn a very tiny bit of commission through their affiliate scheme so if you’re looking to buy The New Topping Book or The New Bottoming Book then go on and treat yourself while you’re at it.