One of my major personal fetishes is a controversial one. One that may even need a trigger warning for some. It’s one not to be taken likely and can have serious physical or emotional repercussions. It takes a strong person to stay in control of their emotions and fears while this type of edge play is taking place. If this sort of thing bothers you then you do not have to read any further. I’m talking about rape play fantasy.
Before I go any further I know some of you may be gasping in horror, shocked that I could find such a horrific experience to be erotic. That such a fetish is a great insult to an actual rape survivor. – I am a rape survivor – I had this kink before it happened and I had it after it happened. It took ages to come to terms with what happened and after some time I eventually learned to trust again. The only lasting reminder of my actual rape comes from the smell of beer on someone’s breath.
When discussing consensual non-consent with a trusted partner it’s important to state exactly what is on or off limits. My hard limit is my mouth. Nothing can be done to my mouth other than covering it with the hand or pretending to use chloroform on me. No forced oral of any kind. To this day this rule has never been broken which is how it should be.
I love the power struggle, the racing heart beat, the ripped or torn clothing, the animalistic physicality of it all. To me it’s just that one step beyond rough sex. It brings a whole new dynamic to our lovemaking repertoire. The same person who gently made love to me the night before with the tenderest touch all of a sudden turns into a primal beast with the strength of ten men set on taking advantage of my body yet wouldn’t cause me any actual harm in the process.
Never does the actual rape I encountered ever enter my mind while I’m enjoying a bit of rape fantasy. If it ever did get too real for whatever reason, my safe word is there to bring the whole scene to a halt. Consensual non-consent is something I’ve enjoyed with just a few well trusted sexual partners and will do for as long as it gives me a thrill. Is it really rape if I’ve given my consent ahead of time?